悩む
なやむ
nayamu
= to be troubled / to worry / to agonize / to be distressed
悩む (nayamu) captures something deeper than passing anxiety — it describes the kind of worry that settles in and lingers, the mental weight of a problem you cannot easily shake or resolve. It is the verb Japanese speakers reach for when an internal struggle has taken hold and refuses to let go.
While English “worry” can describe a fleeting concern, nayamu specifically conveys ongoing, unresolved mental distress — the state of being stuck with a problem that keeps turning over in your mind. It is intransitive and takes the particle ni to mark what you are troubled by: shigoto ni nayamu (troubled by work), kankei ni nayamu (agonizing over a relationship). The noun form nayami (悩み) refers to the worry or trouble itself — something you carry with you. The adjective nayamashii (悩ましい) describes a situation or person as agonizing, difficult, or vexing, and can also carry a nuance of being temptingly difficult to resist. In both casual and formal speech, nayamu implies a sustained inner struggle rather than a momentary spike of anxiety.
Nayamu and shimpai suru (心配する) both translate loosely as “to worry,” but they describe different emotional experiences. Shimpai suru is worry directed outward — concern about what might happen to someone else or how an external situation will turn out. Nayamu is turned inward: it describes an ongoing internal struggle, often about a decision, a personal problem, or a relationship. You would use shimpai suru when a friend is late and you fear something went wrong; you would use nayamu when you have been agonizing for weeks over whether to change careers. Nayamu also implies that no resolution has been found yet — the struggle is still active.
The character 悩 is built on the heart radical 心 (kokoro), which appears at the bottom and signals an emotion or mental state. The upper component derives from 脳 (nou), meaning brain. Together they paint a picture of a heart weighed down by the brain — the mind in conflict with itself. This layered construction mirrors the word’s meaning precisely: nayamu is not just a feeling but a cognitive burden, something happening in both the head and the heart simultaneously.
Everyday use
進路のことで何週間もずっと悩んでいる。
Shinro no koto de nan-shuukan mo zutto nayande iru.
I’ve been agonizing over my future path for weeks now.
Casual / Social Media
髪切ろうか悩んでるんだけど、どう思う?
Kami kirou ka nayanderu n da kedo, dou omou?
I’m going back and forth about cutting my hair — what do you think?
Formal / Cultural context
人員配置の問題について、経営陣も長らく悩んでおります。
Jin’in haichi no mondai ni tsuite, keieijin mo nagara nayande orimasu.
Management has also been wrestling with the staffing allocation issue for some time.
In Japan, the practice of soudan (相談) — consulting someone about a personal nayami — carries significant social weight. Friends, colleagues, and even strangers on anonymous online boards are regularly asked to listen to someone’s nayami and offer perspective. The phrase soudan ni noru (相談に乗る), literally “to get on someone’s consultation,” means to lend an ear and help someone work through their trouble. This framing treats nayami not as weakness but as something that deserves thoughtful attention from others.
At the same time, Japanese culture places a strong value on not burdening others unnecessarily, which means many people carry their nayami privately for a long time before seeking help. The verb nayamu itself implies this solitary quality — you are not announcing distress to others but turning something over alone inside yourself. This internalized quality of worry is part of why nayami consultation services, school counselors, and anonymous advice columns remain widely used: they offer a space to voice what has been held in.
The noun nayami also appears frequently in song lyrics, literature, and drama as a shorthand for the emotional texture of youth and self-discovery. Coming-of-age stories in particular lean on the idea of a protagonist’s nayami as the engine of growth — the unresolved trouble that, once worked through, marks a transition to maturity. This cultural framing gives the word a slightly poignant quality: nayamu is not just suffering, but the evidence that something genuinely matters to you.