従兄弟
いとこ
itoko
= cousin
Itoko means cousin in Japanese, and it’s one of those family terms that reveals how differently Japanese and English categorize relatives. Japanese technically has distinct kanji forms for older male, older female, younger male, and younger female cousins — though in everyday speech, itoko covers them all.
Itoko (従兄弟) means ‘cousin’ — the child of one’s aunt or uncle. In everyday speech, itoko is gender-neutral and age-neutral: it covers all cousins regardless of sex or relative age. The kanji, however, encodes finer distinctions: 従兄 (itoko no ani, older male cousin), 従弟 (itoko no otouto, younger male cousin), 従姉 (itoko no ane, older female cousin), 従妹 (itoko no imouto, younger female cousin). The most common written forms in Japanese are 従兄弟 (for male cousins) and 従姉妹 (for female cousins), though いとこ in hiragana is widely used in informal writing for any cousin.
In everyday Japanese conversation, most people just say いとこ (itoko) in hiragana for any cousin — the gender-and-age-differentiated kanji forms are more common in formal writing, genealogy, or legal documents. There is no grammatically required honorific distinction for cousins the way there is for immediate family (grandmother/sobo vs. obaasan). You can say 私のいとこ (watashi no itoko, my cousin) or just いとこ without gender specification and it’s perfectly natural. If you need to specify, add 男の (otoko no, male) or 女の (onna no, female) before itoko.
従兄弟 breaks down as: 従 (juu/shitaga, follow/secondary), 兄 (ani, older brother), 弟 (otouto, younger brother). The 従 here signals a ‘secondary’ or ‘collateral’ family relationship — parallel to but one step removed from the direct sibling line. Compare: 兄弟 (kyoudai, brothers/siblings — your own) versus 従兄弟 (itoko, cousins — the secondary version). The same 従 prefix appears in 従姉妹 (itoko, female cousins = secondary sisters). In genealogical terms, 従 marks one degree of removal from the direct line.
Everyday use
お盆には従兄弟たちが集まって、祖父母の家で過ごすのが恒例です。
Obon ni wa itoko-tachi ga atsumatte, sofubo no ie de sugosu no ga koureidessu.
During Obon, it’s a tradition for my cousins to gather at our grandparents’ house.
Casual / Social Media
いとこが結婚したって連絡きた！急すぎてびっくり。
Itoko ga kekkon shita tte renraku kita! Kyuusugite bikkuri.
Got a message that my cousin got married! That was so sudden — I was shocked.
Formal / Cultural context
被告人の従兄弟が証人として法廷に出廷した。
Hikokunin no itoko ga shounin toshite houtei ni shutsutei shita.
The defendant’s cousin appeared in court as a witness.
The role of itoko in Japanese family and social life is closely tied to the seasonal gathering rituals of お盆 (Obon, mid-August) and お正月 (Oshougatsu, New Year). These two occasions are when extended families — including cousins who may live in different cities — typically reunite at the grandparents’ home in the 田舎 (inaka, countryside/hometown). For many Japanese who grew up in urban areas but have family in rural regions, the memory of summer weeks spent playing with itoko at the grandparents’ house is a defining childhood experience — a counterpart to city life with a sense of open space, traditional food, and older rhythms.
Cousin marriage (いとこ婚, itoko-kon) has a complex history in Japan. Historically, especially among aristocratic and merchant families, cousin marriage was practiced to keep property and alliances within a family network. It remains legal in Japan today, though it is now uncommon and culturally unusual rather than normative. The word 再従兄弟 (futaitoko, second cousin) and 三従兄弟 (mittoko, third cousin) exist but are rarely used in everyday speech — most Japanese people would simply say 遠い親戚 (tooi shinseki, distant relative) rather than specifying the exact degree.